I had an opportunity not work out. I’m disappointed that it didn’t live up to my expectations. Having a life philosophy is tricky— I like to believe that things generally happen for a reason, and if something doesn’t work out it’s making space for something better. However, a friend recently had a truly horrible diagnosis in their family, and there are a hundred terrible things happening around the world that completely demolish that theory. Sometimes awful things happen to amazing people, and I don't believe there is a silver lining and I don’t believe in a vindictive higher power. These things just happen and it sucks. Oof, ok this newsletter has gotten quite depressing!
I want to acknowledge these things, because burnt toast theory is about smaller disappointments! Jobs that don’t work out, dates that disappoint, spending too much on shoes that are uncomfortable (OK, that’s just a wash). Even health issues to a degree, because I believe that solving certain issues that are causing a variety of symptoms (and, ultimately, inflammation) can make you healthier and prevent bigger issues down the road.
Let’s backtrack. What is burnt toast theory? The internet says it originated on TikTok, but I’m not buying it. The gist of it has been around a long time. Burnt toast theory is simple— it’s the idea that a person burns their toast in the morning, so they have to make new toast (if you are a devoted reader you know that person better be pairing their morning toast with fat and protein!). They are annoyed because it puts them behind schedule. However, the delay from that burnt toast might stop them from getting in a car accident, mean they get to their coffee shop at a different time and meet their soulmate, or a million other scenarios. A true Sliding Doors moment.
It is similar to my father’s favorite zen koan - but more positive. It’s not just that something bad might not be bad, it’s the mindset that if something doesn’t work out there is actually something better out there for you— and if this thing had worked out you wouldn’t see it. The universe has your back.
The silver lining to my current situation is that I now have more time for my creative projects, including this one. I’ve been in a state of sustained stress and have barely been able to hear my own voice the past couple of months, but I can feel it coming back. Hoping your burnt toast morphs into something better too.
Talk soon.
x Alex