Recently a retired dating coach working pro bono (LOL) edited a picture for my dating profile by whitening my teeth. I hadn’t… realized they weren’t white? Whatever, I can take a hint, and it seems that my occasional use of baking soda wasn’t quite cutting it. I did a little deep dive on teeth whitening treatments. In the past I’ve used Crest white strips but I find that my teeth get overly sensitive very quickly and the whole experience is unpleasant. There are in office options and trays you can buy, but they all cost more than I wanted to spend.
I decided to try Bite’s whitening gel kit because it’s on the less expensive end ($32) and seemed like the easiest. I think it is! Basically, after you brush your teeth you dry them (weird) with like a Kleenex, and then you take the tiny brush and brush some gel on your teeth. You try to keep you teeth exposed in an aggressive smile for two minutes while the gel bubbles up (rewarding), spit out the excess, and that’s it! You do this twice a day, but I’ve only been doing it at night. I like it because I’m only feeling the tiniest bit of sensitivity about five days in, and it feels gentle and easy. They suggest 2x a day for two weeks, but what is nice about this is that I think the bottle is going to last a while and you could do it as a touchup whenever you want.
I tried to take a picture before I started the treatment, but to be honest the pictures are absolutely horrifying and also make me upset that I bullied my orthodontist into taking off my braces early because I couldn’t imagine being eighteen with braces. Joke’s on me, Dr. King! You’re just going to have to trust me that after a few days you notice a subtle difference, which is honestly all that you want so that you don’t show up to work one day and have everyone asking if you go to Mario Lopez’s dentist.
I, somewhat controversially, have not used fluoride toothpaste for years. I am not a dentist or a doctor, but there has been some published proof (here at the NIH in case you were worried I was referencing Goop) suggesting that fluoride in drinking water can mess with your thyroid levels, which is not ideal if you already have a thyroid disorder like me. I’m not telling you what to do! Being the trailblazer I am it’s probably been at least ten years since I stopped using fluroide toothpaste and I’ve never had a cavity, but I know there are other factors involved.
I normally use Tom’s Whitening toothpaste- it feels pretty standard! However when I was trying out my new whitening product I decided to go crazy and try out their toothpaste, called Bite’s Toothpaste Bits. They use the ingredient nano-hydroxyapatite, a bit of a hot ingredient in dental care at the moment, which is supposed to be a good fluoride alternative to strength teeth enamel.
I’ve noticed that bits and nibs are very trendy in branding at the moment and I cannot support that— except for right now because I love these little bits. This brand’s whole thing is sustainability, and these are little tabs that come in a reusable jar. You bite them to create toothpaste! They feel like something you’d give to kids because it’s fun to chew them but I don’t know if I’d trust kids with them. It takes a bit (get it?) to figure out how to get them to foam like toothpaste, I suggest that you almost chew them like gum first. But I find them endlessly amusing and they would be good for travel. You can find them on Amazon here with subscription options and also seasonal flavors here- I bought the cinnamon which I really like although it is spicy!
While we’re on the subject, I think this is the best floss in the world and its efficacy and delightful feel finally made me into a daily floss user when years of bullying from my father couldn’t. Cocofloss costs more than your average floss, but I would argue that you’re worth it, etc. Disclaimer: I’m also not your financial advisor!
That’s all, folks. If you try any of these products please take before and after pics of your teeth and send them to me.
xx Alex