An Emotional Toolkit for Trying Times

The kids are not alright

I am not going to weigh in on the election, because I think it is very, very easy to find that content if you want it. Suffice it to say that for me, and I believe for most of my readers, the thing that we didn’t want to happen, happened. Everyone who didn’t vote for him is reacting to T**’s decisive victory differently, with grief or resignation or anger or numbness or some combination of the above. When I woke up to the news yesterday, I was upset and shocked, and then I turned my phone off to meditate and walk my dog and try to ground myself a little before interacting with other people about it.

You might have a knee-jerk reaction that self-care is selfish. In some ways I think it is. It is obviously a privilege to be able to do these things, but I also think it’s very shortsighted to not take care of yourself, and ultimately counterproductive. I would like to find a way to do more in the future, volunteer or do something that feels like it’s making a positive impact in even the smallest way.

Even for my friends and family who have incredibly involved in this campaign cycle, I get the sense that everyone needs a little breather to rest and recover before going back to battle. Hence, a few lighthearted distractions, and also more serious things to include in your emotional toolkit, because you deserve to take care.

Fun Distractions:

Rivals on Hulu / (Disney+ for my European audience of 2)

I think Rivals is the most fun series on TV at the moment. Sometimes we forget about the importance of fun in TV! It is based off of a best-selling Jilly Cooper novel from the 80s. DAME Jilly Cooper (she was apparently friends with Queen Elizabeth) became famous in the UK for writing romance novels about rich people behaving badly, and this is the pinnacle of the genre. There is a lot of sex, in case you wanted to watch with your children- maybe don’t.

It’s about a rivalry between two very rich aristocrats, one an upstart who runs a TV network played by David Tennant, the other a TRUE aristocrat and former equestrian champion who is now a member of parliament and sleeping with everyone. What fun! Watch if you like beautiful country estates, 80s outfits, and low stakes.

Colin from Accounts (Paramount Plus)

As I’ve mentioned before, this is a funny and delightful Australian series about a meet cute when someone hits a dog — and the other person had distracted him by flashing him. Season 2 is out and I forgot to watch because it’s on Paramount Plus. What a gift to my future self!

Murder on Sex Island (Apple podcasts)

I have mentioned this before, but my mother reminded me what a joyous listen it is. This fiction comedy podcast tells the tale of a detective (Luella Van Horn) who goes undercover on a reality dating show to find a murderer. 10/10 recommend.

Simone Biles Rising (Netflix)

Less fun murders, more inspiring, this docuseries about gymnastics GOAT Simone Biles follows her before and during her stint at the Paris Olympics.

General Self Care

• You might be having trouble sleeping. My new naturopath suggested that I might not want to be reliant on melatonin forever, since it is in fact a hormone. I tried a supplement from Arrae I had lying around, and I love it. It doesn’t knock me out, but I sleep well and wake up refreshed. I am sometimes skeptical of supplement brands with good branding, but I also really like their Bloat supplement.

• I have gotten in the habit of meditating for 5 minutes in the AM (obviously while wearing my dry eye mask, and maybe my yoga toes) while I think about three things I want to happen that day. I am often pleasantly surprised by what actually matters to me that day, and it helps me hone my focus and feel like I’ve accomplished what mattered most at the end of the day. If you’re being hard on yourself, try a self-compassion meditation. (Free!)

• Read! Find something low-stress and absorbing. I am currently re-reading an old favorite, Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, and might also read Rivals by Jilly Cooper, because it was a bestseller for a reason! Any screen-free activity (I allow Kindles) is a win. This is also supposed to be a fun one.

• Turn off your damn phone. Especially before bed.

• Exercise, obvi. It’s been a shocker for me to find out that cardio really helps.

• Get outside! Get sunshine! Put your feet on the ground!

• Give yourself a moment to breathe and think about what you need, especially in the morning. If everything feels horrible take a break from the internet.

Love you all. We’ll (hopefully) be ok.

xo,

alex